A fathers death

He died that day. Something died within me . A part of me I've never been able to regain. A void,an emptiness in my heart. I felt an emptiness in my eyes a distant expression in my face.Someone i cared for and loved died that day.Drab clothed people faceless people huddled in a corner with a look of shock and pain.I floated around in a light headed daze wiping away beads of sweat from my forehead. Wondering if he would live his life differently if he had the opportunity to.What would he change...Maybe the way he treated the three of us. The angry disillusioned man who was my father now lay on the floor strangers crowded around him with boquets.I felt trapped, i wanted to scream but walked away. I'm better of dead i thought. I still see his face sometimes drained of life and pale from a lack of blood still I think of him wondering, if he's up there cursing us as he always swore he would.Invisible,he is only seen to my eyes.
I wonder still.....